Year 1999 to 2009: From Human to Machine

My weekdays are quite simple. It’s full of work, with professional and family issues, a tired day and 8hrs of sleep! And weekends are spent in watching movie, networking with friends, washing and cleaning etc. But still far far away from mental peace. I have been running after success all these years (thanks to social and parental pressure). And realized, success is yet very far, but in the process, I lost… Myself.

Music was something that had always helped me in connecting me with my soul. Singing used to be my passion, Sonu Nigam, Rafi, Kishore Da etc. used to be demi-gods. Used to love singing for hours and hours. I used to listen to different songs, write their lyrics, and practice those songs. Everyone used to love my voice and my singing. Even though I have never learnt music, it was something that came naturally to me.

Interestingly, I was never the music buff. But in class 7th, school compulsorily asked everyone to attend activity classes. There were typography, computers, dancing, painting, electronics classes etc. I chose music, because there used to be no music teacher in my school in those days. I thought, it would be good to attend music classes as they would be free periods. I would use that time to finish my homework.

But the very day, a music teacher joined, Ms. Pratima Kumar. Every student was shocked. As they always thought, that music classes would be free time. Prathima Ma’am called every student one by one to sing “Hey Sharde Maa”. We all used to sing this song daily in our assembly. After everyone was over, she called me and Sumit Rathore to the stage. We were bit terrified. She announced, they were the best singers, as they struck the near perfect chords. I never looked back. Prathima ma’am was my motivation, my first Guru. She helped me in improving my singing skills, with Dice Sir who was an expert in English music. Soon I was among the best singers in my school. Next, I wanted to learn classical, I wanted to be trained.

In early class 12th, I asked my dad, “I don’t want to study. I want to be a singer. I want to learn music. ” My dad replied, “Finish up your board exams, become an engineer. Once you are successful, do whatever you want to pursue your ambitions.” His point of view was logical. But soon I realised that there is no connection between Passion and Logic.

So here I am today. I am an engineer, MBA, marketer, and yet “Nothing”. First engineering, then interviews, then MBA preparation, MBA, and now job. After 10 years of hardships, I realized, I couldn’t sing. I need to start afresh to polish my skills. I have lost the gift of God.

Programs like Indian Idol, Saregamapa, and Amul Voice of India, bring tears to my eyes, when I saw someone else fulfilling my dreams. Thanks to loved ones around me, as they keep motivating me to continue singing. And I even want to!

But thanks to the last decade, as I am more a machine now than a human. Emotions, aspirations and talent, all are lost in the process to be a machine, like everyone.